10 Things to do on Valentines Day (if you're single)

I can't speak for the rest of the world, but here in Barbados most men act like Valentine's day is the date when the dead will rise and walk the earth. In fact, it seems most Bajan men would rather the dead walk the earth than to have to succumb to getting "romantic".

They insist the day was invented by a homosexual man and due to their homophobia they will break out in hives (or worse) if they encourage this celebration in any way.

To the REAL men out there, who don't need Valentine's Day to bring their woman a rose, a box of chocolates, some sexy lingerie, take her to a nice restaurant or any so such gesture she would appreciate, I applaud you. 

To the men who still think Valentine is a lappy sappy souped up day aimed at making store owners (and other small business men) earn some extra income in the slow financial period BUT suck it up and do something just so their woman can smile and show off anyway - I applaud you too. 

TO the LADIES - who have not fallen for the hype that romance is only for females, but go out of their way to present their man with something HE would like, be it dinner, a massage or a bottle of wine on the balcony. I also applaud you.

NOW - for those of you (us) who DO NOT have a "significant other" to fuss with over what is appropriate and not appropriate on this the 14th of February, I hope you are not just sitting at home sighing/crying/feeling sorry for yourselves. That is not what grown folks supposed to do if they are single on Valentines Day. (well, not the ones reading this blog anyway)

There is NO REASON why you should be feeling left out of the do if you're single - you are sexy, fun and fabulous (yes, men are fabulous too) and you know it!

So in celebration of all my single people ( my fine self included) I have thought up a list of things that you can do that DO NOT include throwing a pity party...actually - a pity party really isn't such a bad idea. It's still, after all, a party.

1. Give a gift to a special loved one.

Your mother, father, best friend. Someone who loves you. Not sexual love, but genuine will run come sit by your side all night at the hospital if you were in an accident love.

Let them know they are appreciated.

2. Go out with your single friends.

NO - this is not the pity party, nor is this the bash the opposite sex party. This is the celebration of loving yourself and being able to enjoy the love and company of good friends.

3. Have movie night. 

This can be done alone or with friends, single or coupled up. If you can handle it - rent romantic themed comedies and laugh (or cry). Wine and popcorn go well together and if you get teary in front your guest you can lie and say you rubbed salt in your eye.

4. Go on a blind date.

Yeah, I said it. You may be single, but it doesn't mean you are single and bitter and have turned away from all thoughts of ever being hitched again. Find some other single person and go out together. They may very well be around for the next Valentines Day. If not, you got out of the house and it works even better if they pay.

5. Have a pity party.

This actually has incredible benefits, but only if you do it with friends who are into the age old saying "misery likes company". You need wine for this one - and lots of it. Finger foods go well for this event. Chips for the men, fish fingers for the women. Sit around and reflect on all your exes and why they didn't work out. Think of the good times, think of the fights and then remember why you kicked their asses to the curb. SWEAR to yourself (and your friends) you will never ever everrr make the same choices again. 

OKAY -  So the next four ideas are for the naughtier of us grown folks...

6. Masturbate. 

Self explanatory

7. Borrow someone else's partner.

Surely there is someone who is in that god awful long distance relationship where skyping on Valentine's just leaves them lonely and miserable. Find them and cheer them up. 

This also goes for people who are freshly broken up or "separated". 

What you do with them is up to you.

8. Sabotage someone else's relationship.

We all know that friend who has a great partner and totally abuses their goodness. They neglect them, disrespect them, cheat on them. Long and short of the story - they don't deserve them. Why should that useless person have something good on Valentines Day? 

Now might be the time to let it slip that someone wasn't really at the gym last night like they said. 

9. Open a kissing booth outside a strip club.  (LADIES ONLY)

I am certain there will be plenty of men who either don't have a woman, don't want a woman or are just hoping to get one for the night. For the ones who were too ugly to score or too drunk to care, you can still manage to squeeze a little extra out their wallets for a Valentine Night kiss. That way you entertain yourself AND still make some pocket change. It might go better if you wear sexy lingerie and hire a bodyguard.

AND LASTLY - 

10. Sleep.

Also self explanatory.
 If you are just too depressed you don't have a Valentine - go to sleep. It will be over in a few hours.
If you just can't give a flying fig about February 14th, but you love you some you, I suggest you sleep in the nude. Do it just for me.

Whatever you choose do do - have fun everyone and be safe!!